I just read Don Miguel Ruiz's book, The Fifth Agreement, "A Practical Guide to Self Mastery."

On the same day that I finished, I was able to practice my new self-awareness when my husband first commented that I have Man-Hands, and then followed with a "You should really see how you look in that toque." using a "It's not good" tone.

Sorry, just to be accurate, my husband said my hands were "unfeminine." I wanted to hug our  children's nanny when she told my husband that his hands were like smooth banana peels, a term used  in the Phillipines to describe men who are less than ambitious. To be fair, my husband works hard, but it's all computers all the time. I on the other hand, rifle through used clothes for a living, or haul big boxes and bags of used clothes. Anyways, back to the book.

The five concepts to live by as espoused by the book are:

 - Be impeccable with your word

 - Don't take anything personally

 - Don't make assumptions

 - Always do your best

 - Be skeptical, but learn to listen

So, I applied these new learnings to my husband's comments.

First, be impeccable with your word.

At his manhands comment, instead of retaliating with an insult of the variey, "Oh ya, I can use intense moisturizer and stop biting my nails. You are going bald."  I just said, "I love my hands!"

Second, don't take anything personally.

At the toque comment, I looked at my round, fuzzy, blue head and lack of eyebrows, and the bluish hue to my face, and I wondered if he had a point.  So I said, "I love my toque!"

Third, don't make assumptions.

Funny enough, when I was at Bushtukah, I chose the toque because my husband and daughter's favorite color is blue, and since they would be looking at my fuzzy head, wasn't I doing a service to my family? 

Fourth, always do your best

As all of this discussion was happening at the dinner table, I used great restraint to have a very civil discussion about likes and dislikes, man-hands and girl-hands, etc., just to show my three daughters that I wasn't taking anything personally....

Fifth, be skeptical, but learn to listen

At Bruce Pitt walking the dog the next day, I was wearing my 6-year-old's hat that fit me like a Jewish skull-cap. My friend Kristine asked "Where's the blue toque?" and I told her the story. She said, "But I love that hat! It's your color."

Huh.